Gone Fishing
by LittleBlueNayru
Summary: What's a hero to do when he grows ravenously hungry in a much-hated dungeon? Takes place during TP.


Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ.

Well, for any of you who have read my other stories, you should know that I suffer from Random Humorous Oneshot Syndrome. As usual, this came to me from completely out of the blue. Although, I think, that just like in _Dead Man's Club_, I wrecked the ending by dragging it on too long. However, that's my opinion. You tell me what you think.

* * *

Gone Fishing

Link climbed up wearily onto slippery stone, gasping for breath from exhaustion. His wet form collapsed on the ground, and he spent several minutes calming him heart and breath before getting up with a growl and continuing on his way.

His irritation and anger gave him a new source of energy. Almost blindly, he walked from room to room, hacking at any enemy that dared cross his path.

It was slave work. It was stupid and pointless and stupidly pointless, and above all...

It was ANNOYING!

Link gave a yell of rage as he slashed the last enemy blocking his path, and began to sigh as the enemy exploded in front of him. The Water Temple certainly was annoying. It was annoyingly huge, annoyingly complex, annoyingly infested with uncountable monsters that were slimey, submerged in the water, or suspended from the ceiling. And traversing the large dungeon, battling monsters in every room, had left the hero thoroughly exhausted.

the Clawshot was proving to be very useful. On a small plinth of dry ground, surrounded by a perfectly circular pool of water, in the room directly below him, lay the chest containing the Big Key. Unconsciously, a weight lifted off Link's shoulders as a wave of relief and happiness overcame him. Only he could be happy about fighting another monster with such horrendous proportions, but then again, he was the only one who had been stuck in the underground gloom of a watery temple for hours on end. Even with the dungeon's immense size, Link found it was possible to become claustrophobic.

Extending the metal chain carefully, he lowered himself into the room, releasing the Clawshot from the target it was embedded in only when his feet felt the firm ground beneath them. With joy equivalent of Talo's when receiving a sword, Link opened the chest.

At the bottom of its empty depths, the key sat on a small pillow of velvet. Link snorted. Did the Zoras know their temple was going to be overrun? Did they actually go to such great lengths to decorate their temples, so far that they would fashion keys to forbidden rooms, and seat them in such hard-to-reach places on cushions of silk? The mystery would remain unresolved, but it did not matter. Link had gotten what he had come for.

He made to leave by the only door accessible from the ground, which happened to be underwater. However, a sliver of wisdom had been bestowed to him on his journeys, such that he took heart to the saying _look before you leap_.

And look he did. And what he saw made him grimace.

Swimming in the pool of water, snapping underwater like crazed piranha, were no less than twenty skullfish. Link could barely put one toe in any body of water they occupied before becoming a meat magnet.

As Link realized what was bound to happen by diving in, he groaned, and with the groan, his newfound strength in fed-up anger ebbed away, inviting a fresh wave a fatigue in the weary acceptance of the sigh.

The poor hero had been swimming, slashing, searching, scanning every inch of the dungeon for anything remotely useful and then checking it again. His throat burned, dry flames hissing for water. His stomach growled, demanding food to fill the emptiness inside. His legs shivered, begging the hero to transfer his weight to another part of his body.

Heeding his legs, Link sat down with a sigh of relief. He pulled out a bottle, which contained a Red Potion he had collected from the remains of a Chu. Though it was much thicker than he would have liked, it dulled his parchness, halting its advance momentarily.

Angry at being left out, his stomach voiced its complaint again. Link could almost feel himself grow weaker as his stomach claimed his attention. He sighed, and lay down on the strange grass, lost in thought.

After ten minutes, he sat up, blinking with surprise. His hunger was getting to him. He knew he must be desperate to resort to such measures, and he pulled out his fishing rod, fumbling with the bait.

A rather unwelcome companion popped up in the form of a shadow. "What are you doing?" an impatient voice asked.

Midna had been insufferable ever since he had been pulled into the Twilight. She drove him like a slave, spoke in the most condescending manner, and seemed to regard him as either not smart enough or not worthy enough to share any explanation at all of what was happening. Link frowned and concentrated on the hook. "What does it look like?" he grumbled.

"It _looks_ stupid," Midna said, repressing a snort. "You can't possibly mean you're going to eat a _skullfish_. All they are is bones and a bit of meat. You have nothing to make them taste better, and no fire to cook them with. You aren't at the end of your strength, and if you were, you have a nice circle of grass to munch on. Now start grazing, or get going!"

Link flashed her a look of anger. "You're nothing but a shadow right now. I think I'm going to have a good, delicious, skullfish," he said, a grimace forming at such a prospect.

Midna's shadowy hands went to her hips, upon regarding his expression, as if saying, "told ya so."

Link tossed the hook into the water. A second after the splash, Link felt it being dragged down hard. With much tugging and reeling, a thrashing skullfish broke the surface of the water.

Link beamed. As far as skullfish went, this had to be one of the better ones. A little bit more of that strange meat coated its empty ribcage than the rest of the group, and it was a slightly more appetizing shade of red. It was also quite lively.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, while Midna gave an ignored sound of disbelief and disgust.

_You caught a Skullfish! It looks stronger than it is... This fish is forbidden, so it won't be added to you fishing journal_.

"Who said that?" Midna asked angrily, growing quite annoyed at the voices that appeared from nowhere every time Link picked up a Rupee, opened a chest, or caught a fish. Link rolled his eyes. What a hypocrite...

He smiled, and reached for the skullfish.

The skullfish flipped off the hook, and flopped towards the edge.

"No!" Link yelled, lunging for the ground. He was too late. The skullfish was reunited with the water.

Link got up and wiped the weird grass off his tunic, ignoring Midna's laughter. With a grunt, he pulled out the rod again, and caught the fish again.

"Yes!" Link cheered again, grabbing his fish.

His fish was suddenly in the pond again.

_What do you not get about "forbidden"?_ The strange voice asked soundlessly. _Forbidden means forbidden, and that's that! No skullfish!_

With horror and crushed hope, Link fell to his knees, realizing the weight of the situation. His one source of food had been pulled from his grip...literally! It just wasn't fair, it wasn't right!

"So...ANNOYING!!!" Link yelled in a hopeless rage, facing upwards for the heavens to hear, arms hanging at his sides limply.

Midna giggled again. "Thwarted again, poor hero," she said smugly. "Now, get grazing!"

Link grumbled unintelligibly, falling flat on his face into the grass.

A moment passed.

"Hey...this isn't that bad...chewy..."

* * *

The only reason I made Midna rude is because she is before she is almost killed by Zant.

Well, did I mess up the ending or not? I hope my Random Humorous Oneshot Syndrome has brought you another truly humorous oneshot.

Until next time! --Blue.


End file.
